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Seeing , believing , feeling , voicing Childhood Trauma

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hayleypearce

Feeling fragile

Posted on November 11, 2020November 11, 2020 by hayleypearce

Depression has crept up on me. It was coming on for a while, but I missed the signs this time. Life has thrown other shit at me recently, so I just kept going. At the end of October I was ambushed by it. I knew these emotions were there. They Continue Reading

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the truth will not forget you

Posted on October 15, 2020October 15, 2020 by hayleypearce

The Psychologist John Bowlby stated that children cannot know what they cannot communicate to a parent Having lived this in an abusive childhood I can attest to his words. The odds of claiming the experience of your truth and then voicing it, are against you. For anyone who has grown Continue Reading

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who do they see ?

Posted on October 5, 2020October 11, 2020 by hayleypearce

Who do the police see when they interview survivors of child abuse and choose to not believe them? I know this has happened to so many of you, it’s a devastating fact. A common fact. It’s also happened to me. I wasn’t believed. I reported my child abuse to the Continue Reading

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rabbit love

Posted on September 9, 2020September 9, 2020 by hayleypearce

Rabbit heart I know you. Sweet soul , wise and still you give so much with your gentle being. Here on the ground we are one. Time has no meaning , there is only now. I was prey once too. I know the earth and what she holds for us, Continue Reading

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Storm

Posted on September 7, 2020October 1, 2020 by hayleypearce

I belong to the storm cradled within purple bruised clouds blowing me out across the sky. I am the storm whirring about like the wild wind, above roof tops diving down to the pavements struggling to fly, chaos. A black crow whose wings are pushing out like a jet plane, Continue Reading

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Parents who abuse

Posted on August 6, 2020August 6, 2020 by hayleypearce

Trying to make sense of the truth but there is none. Parents who abuse you. So no parents after all. A life time wondering why ? But then you see there is no understanding. No sense to this truth. The sky is blue today, the sun shining. A smile from Continue Reading

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the path back

Posted on July 29, 2020August 6, 2020 by hayleypearce

I’ve not written anything on my blog since May and it feels like such a long time ago, rather than just a few months. I’ve discovered just how disabled with pain I become without any chiropractic treatment, which is what happened because of the lock down. I had my first Continue Reading

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definition of a child abuse survivor :

Posted on May 12, 2020July 29, 2020 by hayleypearce

Intensely complicated and complex through circumstances. Wild and anti social designed from rage, born of powerlessness. Too many thoughts. A dreamer and an addict created in the suffering of abandonment. Struggles at night and struggles in the day. Needs to isolate to feel close to Nature then can become like Continue Reading

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Living with Grief… continued

Posted on April 28, 2020April 28, 2020 by hayleypearce

I woke up the morning after I found out that my brother had died, and went to the bedroom window staring out on a day that was bright and sunny. Across the road from the high rise I was living in at the time was a garage. Cars lined up Continue Reading

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Locked in child abuse

Posted on April 23, 2020June 28, 2020 by hayleypearce

It’s torture everyday, there can be no running away. Time is my enemy all the hours all the days. Up the stairs at night but no sleep tight. I will bleed I will cry, I will feel like it might make me die. No one will see or hear. The Continue Reading

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The light lives inside you, remember that when the darkness outside seems overwhelming. Go inside, find the light, search it out and stay with it, always. The light is you, the beautiful child you were and still are. Love her/ him  just love with all you have and the light will grow. It is after all who you are, who you always have been.

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed on this blog are my own personal opinions and experiences.  I share what has worked and not worked for me in healing from Complex PTSD, but that does not mean it will work for everyone. We are all different, so if in any doubt seek a professional opinion.

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