hayleypearce

Last night I dreamt of the Australian ocean. I was paddling in the turquoise blue water, diving under to swim far out, watching the beach. So pristine, so clear a day, just perfect. I felt so happy, so content. Then I was walking on my favourite trail along the coastal Continue Reading

So you think to yourself how much more ? How much longer ? Your brain doesn’t work properly because you’re tired, and you’re wired from the anxiety caused by the nightmare. Your trauma response is to freeze, your brain shuts down, you can’t think. You want to be creative, to Continue Reading

I grew up in Australia from the age of 14. It’s my home, the one I lost without a choice. It was stolen from me when I had to leave, as I’ve written about here before. I miss it every day, but it became so painful to miss, I had Continue Reading

Flashbacks are living, breathing experiences, memories from my childhood which arise in my body and mind. When they are arriving, they bring an energy which is surprising and can feel very uncomfortable, but not always. The energy they unlock can feel very powerful in a good way. The urge to Continue Reading

Not that long ago I started sharing about the true nature of the abuse I suffered as a child. Or rather I started to call it what it really was, without the fear of not being believed, or judged as crazy. Those concerns I had fell away the more trauma Continue Reading

She asked me how I felt and I responded with angry. But she wouldn’t accept that. I was in for a tussle. Sister Rosemary was the one in charge and she was about to take me on a journey of revelation and discovery. I was sitting among a group of Continue Reading

I like to question mostly everything. It’s part of who I am and it developed as a coping mechanism from not understanding what was happening to me when I was a child. Questioning helped me see my childhood abuse for what it was. A madness that I could not accept. Continue Reading

It’s not over when you leave. If only it were that simple. You leave, get on with your life and never think about them again. You’re safe so you don’t give them a second thought. As anyone who has had to leave an abusive family behind knows, this is not Continue Reading

I still can’t believe I was able to do it. Leave all of my family behind, basically escape, that’s how dangerous they were. Now I can actually look back to what I had to do to leave, for the safety of my daughter and myself, it seems an impossible task. Continue Reading