the truth will not forget you

The Psychologist John Bowlby stated that children cannot know what they cannot communicate to a parent Having lived this in an abusive childhood I can attest to his words. The odds of claiming the experience of your truth and then voicing it, are against you. For anyone who has grown up within a family that abused them it is inherent that the abuse is covered up with lies. Layers of lies constructed to blind the child and outsiders. Parents and other family members taking part and colluding in the abuse of their children are adept at lying to cover up their behaviour, saving themselves from taking any responsibility, or being held to account. For the child on the receiving end of the abuse from those supposed to love, protect and care for them, it’s a living hell and one from which they cannot escape, except for denial and dissociation. Not knowing, forgetting is the only option for survival. You forget to live, to carry on, to survive. That’s some burden to carry for a child! Children have to attach to survive, so when your care givers are unsafe and threaten your very existence, your level of forgetting and dissociating are multi layered. I mean it’s a mind fuck of massive proportions. These so called parents and family members have honed their craft of deceptions over generations, so that the external image of the family is often one of a loving and nurturing base. It’s made to look plentiful and wholesome to hide the horrific neglect and abuse it covers up. I was told I was loved, then abused by the same people who fed me that line. So essentially I was a hostage, not their child. Years later as an adult I finally escaped the cult that was my family. This was not an easy task, infact it was never supposed to happen. I had been lied to and betrayed for so long you would imagine I would be completely immune to any idea of escaping my family. That I would have given up on the idea that my version of the truth would ever be free. But here’s the thing about the truth. It’s just too powerful. It was too present within me even when dissociated to be discarded and forgotten forever. The truth of child abuse will wait, it will come out through behaviour, dreams and illness. It will find a way out eventually. It’s very patient the truth of abuse, it will not go away until it can be tended to. Abusers of children are evil we know that, they are cowards incapable of shining any light within on their own actions. Look at what they are. Now look at the truth of the surviving child. They have truth that endures time. Truth that is pure, that crushes the lies of the perpetrator. It is just there standing clearly for what it is. However painful, however sad, the truth of abuse will not wait forever, it will find a way out. It will be present, it will be there, no matter who doesn’t want to believe it and there will be plenty that don’t. The truth will live in feelings, words and knowing for what it is, the stories and histories of those survivors who had to forget, but will not be forgotten EVER by their own truth.